How to Host Friendsgiving: Expert Tips for a Memorable Feast

From conversation cards tucked under napkins to a surprising rule about leftovers, these simple ideas can help you pull off a gathering that feels relaxed, personal, and fun for everyone.

Apart from Thanksgiving, many people look forward to another gathering, this time among friends, more popularly known as Friendsgiving.

The concept has been around for a long time, from “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” in 1973 to “Friends” in the ’90s, but the term itself first started circulating in 2007, when it appeared in Twitter posts. It continued to gain traction, and in 2011, Google searches for “Friendsgiving” spiked after it became a central theme in a Baileys Irish Cream ad campaign and a “Real Housewives of New Jersey” episode. But it wasn’t until 2020 that the word finally made it into the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Friendsgiving has become a cherished tradition, and much like Thanksgiving, there’s food, conversation, and a lot to be grateful for. If you’re hosting one this year, a little planning and a few thoughtful details can make it a memorable one.

Plan Ahead

Friendsgiving is usually celebrated around Thanksgiving, and more often than not, it’s a potluck affair. To be considerate, Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute, recommends asking guests about allergies and dietary needs in advance and coordinating who’s bringing what dish. It would also be helpful to inform guests in advance about details like what time the meal will be served and the dress code, if there is one.

The host usually takes care of the main dish, but that doesn’t necessarily need to be a turkey. “If you are hosting and a turkey stresses you out, you don’t need to make turkey,” says Emily Stephenson, author of “The Friendsgiving Handbook.” Stephenson suggests simplifying by making a turkey breast instead, or even skipping the turkey entirely and opting for lasagna or a savory galette.

Set a Beautiful Table

The table will be the night’s centerpiece, so a thoughtfully set one is ideal. Event planner Molly Simard, founder of House of Palmer, suggests layering a runner or tablecloth, placemats or chargers, and plates, with one or two colors to tie them together. She notes, “The secret is to coordinate, not match.”

To decorate the table, Simard also recommends using natural elements, maybe something from your yard or the farmers market. Centerpieces should also be kept low, under 12 inches tall, to allow for conversation across the table

You can also add some personal touches to make everything feel intentional and make your guests feel even more welcome. Amanda Donaho, an event planner and founder of Illuminare Retreat, suggests monogrammed napkins, a framed photo of a favorite shared memory, or a handwritten note at each seat.

To get all the details right without stressing yourself out, you can set the table the night before.

Keep the Evening Lively

Once your guests are gathered around the table you beautifully prepared, it’s the conversation that you need to focus on. Conversation is the heart of Friendsgiving, so as the host, you need to get it going.

Simard suggests tucking a card with a single question under each napkin, and having guests share their answers between dinner and dessert. “A single prompt turns a room of strangers into a table that actually connects,” she says.

She also recommends a shift every 20 minutes, whether it’s serving a new course, switching the music, or bringing out a new drink. This helps keep the energy going.

Even if you’re the host, you can delegate some of the tasks if you need help. Post suggests giving guests little tasks, like lighting candles or serving dessert, to make the evening a joint effort.

Wrap Up With Care

Before your guests leave, send them home with leftovers of the dishes they brought. “Just because they’ve brought it to your house doesn’t automatically make it yours,” Post says.

And once they’ve left, you can give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. Chances are, your friends had a great time, and you gave them a Friendsgiving to remember.