Story Of The Day: The Lessons I Learned While Dating An Alcoholic

Substance abuse is a terrible disease that plagues way too many people worldwide. The worst part about this disease is the varying degrees of substance abuse people can suffer from, from alcoholism to drug abuse.

Unfortunately, alcohol is a socially accepted substance that many people see no problem with. Far fewer people have alcohol dependency issues than drug dependency issues simply because alcohol is not as addictive as drugs are.

However, the addiction is no better simply because it is socially accepted, and I am here to tell you what I learned from dating an alcoholic.

Our Love Story

Okay, for the sake of his safety and privacy, let’s call this man Mario. Mario and I met in 2018, I had just got out of a relationship, and he had been single for a while. He had a large group of friends, and they all welcomed me with open arms.

We didn’t officially date until 2020 because I discovered that he had alcohol dependency issues about three months into knowing Mario. He would drink from Friday to Monday and sometimes from Wednesday to Tuesday.

I confronted him about it, and he said that he would slow down, but he was never really able to slow down. One drink always leads to eleven more, and by the end of the night, I was always dragging him home because he was way too intoxicated to know it was time to stop.

In 2020, he finally decided that he needed to stop drinking for good. I appreciated his efforts and loved him dearly. He was damaged and fragile, and I felt so bad that he was so affected by things that had happened in his childhood.

He stopped drinking properly in 2020 and had a few relapses before deciding that he should get an implant that stops him from drinking. He was on it for four months, and our lives seemed to finally be going in the right direction after working on it for so long.

Resentment

You should get the implant redone every four months, and Mario decided that he didn’t want to do it again. He felt as though he could stay sober without the implant, and I trusted him to make that decision for himself.

However, the minute that he got that implant, as much as it seemed like he was healing and we were coming together, it was the moment that our relationship began to fall apart. We both thought it was what we wanted, but we had no idea.

Mario began to stay out late again, and even though he didn’t come home smelling like alcohol, he didn’t come home and cuddle me to sleep either. He was distant and snappy, and I knew that something was up.

Recently, we broke up because he didn’t feel like himself. When you spend your whole life surrounded by people who love you because you’re buying them drinks and you lose that all of a sudden, it feels lonely.

Mario doesn’t know what he wants from this life, mostly because he has been surrounded by substance all his life, and he is now sober, which is difficult. However, he is learning day by day how to cope with his new normal.

As for me, I learned patience, trust, and most of all, I learned how to be my person. Regardless of Mario’s addiction, I needed to carry on with my life. Whether he relapsed or not, my life had to go on. I had my own things to do, and I couldn’t let him get in the way.

I truly wish him nothing but the absolute best, and I hope that he and everybody else suffering from this disease manages to get and stay sober so that they can realize their dreams.