10 Tips To Building Self Love & Self Esteem

Depending on your background, self-esteem and self-love are sometimes difficult to cultivate. Yet, they are essential to our balance and our development. Develop professionally, cultivate friendships, find love or just feel good about yourself. These all require a minimum of self-esteem. Yet, it is often much more natural for us to self-denigrate or be-little ourselves than to recognize our qualities, strengths, and skills.

At work, in your relationship, or in family life, low self-esteem will make your choices and decisions more or less happy. In the long term, the consequences can be devastating. Unless we realize it and act on it, low self-esteem can negatively affect the course of our lives. 

Even more, we risk passing on the roots of this evil to the next generation. The family is indeed the breeding ground where self-esteem is born and developed. These tips will help you build your self-esteem and love yourself more.

1. Use Positive Affirmations

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Words have the power to destroy and create. Positive affirmations are beneficial when our internal dialogue tends to be harmful, and thanks to them, we can rebalance our inner voice. The more you think positively, the more positive you will feel. 

The small, everyday positive affirmations help you take life in a much more optimistic way by eliminating toxic thoughts. You will think a lot less about the negative things, and it allows you to focus more on the positive ones.

2. Learn To Accept Compliments

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Complimenting means being attentive to people, observing them, and this is very pleasant. Even as you give comments, also learn to accept them and not just say a rushed thank you. Receiving compliments boosts self-esteem. The best way to be open to receive the compliment is to have a ready answer for them.

You don’t have to force yourself or think you need to return the compliment. Smile in gratitude and thank the person who gave it to you. Over time, this resistance of yours will diminish, and you will be able to appreciate compliments truly. Also, the more willing you are to accept compliments, the more people around you will enjoy giving them to you.

3. Respect Your Uniqueness

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The powers that inhabit you are great. There is no need to try to be stronger or to want to be like others. On the contrary, let your inner self shine through without trying to change it, modify it, or suppress it. 

Self-esteem is not about being strong and confident but knowing that you are powerful. Once you believe this, everything becomes possible in your life. Know what makes you you and feed it to become stronger.

4. Practice Self Care

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Forgetting about yourself and your time and need, because it is immensely lavish for others and their requests, is a form of extreme and unbalanced behavior that will bring only anxiety and stress into your life and tend to exhaust you rather than enriching you.

Be kind to yourself, sleep well, learn to say no, let go of what you cannot control, exercise regularly, and have good relationships with those around you. Also, eat healthy balanced meals and run away from people who are always ready to despise you.

5. Be Patient

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We live in a world where everything goes fast. Nothing is ever fast enough for us, and we just want to save time. We no longer know how to wait or the importance of waiting. We want everything, right away, nothing less! No doubt you feel that you are not reaching your goals quickly enough. That’s enough! We’re not in such a hurry! 

From now on, note each of the small steps that lead you towards achieving your goal. It is the fact of doing it in full and all the small gestures and new habits you introduce to succeed afterward that matters. By writing each of your small achievements, you begin to have a view of the big change.

6. Gratitude

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We often forget the close link between our unhappiness and gratitude, or rather, the absence of appreciation. When you’re unhappy, down in the dumps, or unmotivated, there’s a good chance you’re repeating the same action throughout the day: complaining. Did complaining to yourself get you motivated again? Has complaining to others changed the situation? Did complaining to the world make it a better place? 

You are unlikely to change your situation if you keep acting like a whiner. If you want to face life’s problems with a different attitude, but you don’t know where to start, start by doing the opposite of what you have done up to now! If you have only complained so far, now is the time to practice gratitude.

7. Be Forgiving

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Have you noticed how critical and relentless we are about our failures or our missteps? You don’t skimp on negative comments about yourself. We would like to be perfect, but we are not. This is not the desired goal, but we are hard on ourselves. 

Learn to give yourself advice, and don’t hesitate to pat yourself on the back when you accomplish something you are proud of, most especially when no one is giving it to you.

8. Know Thyself

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Even Socrates recommended that we know ourselves. The first step is to know yourself on a deeper level. Imagine for a moment that everything you have was gone overnight. How would you feel?

If you have high self-esteem, then no matter what is taken from you, it will not change your perception of yourself. Also, it will not damage your self-confidence because you do not measure your worth according to external circumstances. Conversely, your value comes from within.

9. Accept Yourself

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If you go back in your personal history, you will indeed have some pretty good memories, neutral ones, and things you are not proud of. However, to strengthen your self-esteem, it must be honest and genuine. Your self-image doesn’t have to be a fantasy or an idealization of yourself. 

You have to accept your inner nature, including all of your facets, both good and bad. Yes, you have flaws, you’ve made mistakes, and you fail miserably from time to time. You did all you could in this situation and this context, besides all these experiences, made you who you are today.

10. Be Responsible For Yourself

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Now you know you can trust yourself and be confident in your ability to make decisions to get you where you want to go. You are not in competition with others. You are alone in this adventure which is your life. It is only to yourself that you can compare yourself, and the important thing is to give your best. 

Don’t set the bar too high, either. It’s okay to make mistakes, even if you feel like you’re the only one making them. The important thing is to assess what you have done and seek to improve yourself and increase your chances of success the next time around.

Written By:
Titi Dokubo

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