When you’re still in school, you’re constantly surrounded by people in a way that you’re in the ideal position to interact. However, after high school or college, making friends comes with certain challenges.
Between the memories made, the deep chats, and the much-needed laughs, it’s safe to say that the role of a good friend is invaluable. These are the people who you can often have fun with when you need to unwind, but also the people who can support you when you need a hand. Friends are great to keep, but in your adulthood, not always the easiest to make.
Shooting your friendship shot can seem daunting because while you may hope that your potential homie likes you, you don’t want to come off as creepy, and that can cause you to put a lot of pressure on making the interaction perfect. The truth is that there is no right way to make a friend, and it can happen in the most unexpected places, but if you’d like some help on how to make a friend as an adult, here’s a guide:
The foundation of friendships is usually in shared interests so try to find things that you and your potential friends might connect over.This might be a shared interest in a specific hobby, shared values, or a shared sense of humor. But also, don’t try to force the connection by over-emphasizing your commonalities.
For example, if you see your potential buddy post a photo at a gallery, and you happen to be into art, maybe comment about something art-related or share how you’ve been looking forward to visiting the spot.
Be Curious About Them
Usually, it’s a good idea to ask questions because this helps the other person have a way to respond easier. Not like a spy gathering intel, but more in a way that shows a healthy interest in them.
In return, be open to sharing some details about yourself. Share what you like, for example, what you like to watch on Netflix or other details that you might feel comfortable divulging.
Read The Room
Be sure to read the interaction and see if your potential friend is as interesting and likable as you’d anticipated. Are they reciprocating the energy, and do you feel like there could be a connection between the two of you.
Feeling out the vibe can also help you stay in the moment, and you’ll be able to flow and read appropriate moments to drop in a joke and if your comedic attempts are landing.
Possibly the most cliche piece of advice that someone could get is to be themselves. But it’s probably repeated so often because it’s true. People can often feel insincerity, and you will feel the pressure of keeping up the facade at one point or another.
Either way, you’re unique as you are, and if your potential friend doesn’t see your light, in the words of Ariana Grande, “Thank you, next,” respectfully.
If it feels right, try and set up another instance where you and the potential buddy might interact again. This is the classic, “I just moved here. could you show me around,” but with more finesse.
This can move the interaction from a casual one-time conversation to a possible series of conversations that might blossom into a friendship.