I caught my wife kissing my older brother at our vacation home, then slipped away unseen. The next day, I left my wife there with Kai and drove home like I knew nothing. He had promised our parents an announcement at dinner. By evening, they were pounding on my door, demanding to know what I'd done!
My brother, Kai, had been the center of our family for as long as I could remember.
He was three years older, better at sports, and the kind of student whose report cards our mother showed to strangers.
Kai had been the center of our family.
When Kai got a promotion, Dad opened champagne.
When I got one, Dad asked whether my company was hiring.
I learned not to expect much.
But one birthday still bothered me.
I learned not to expect much.
I'd turned twenty-seven and driven to my parents' house with a chocolate cake I'd bought myself.
When I arrived, everyone was celebrating Kai's promotion.
There were balloons, champagne, and a banner across the dining room.
Nobody remembered my birthday.
Everyone was celebrating Kai's promotion.
I put the cake in the refrigerator.
Three hours later, I took it home unopened.
Mom called the next day, apologizing.
That was how things worked in our family.
I got the gift card and the privilege of pretending it counted as cake.
She was funny, thoughtful, and wonderfully unimpressed by my brother's accomplishments.
The first time she met my family, Kai spent twenty minutes describing a business deal.
On the drive home, Molly asked, "Does he ever ask anybody else a question?"
I laughed so hard I had to pull over.
She noticed things about me.
She remembered how I took my coffee and when I'd had a difficult day.
When we married, I thought I'd finally found someone who didn't see me as Kai's younger brother.
For seven years, I believed that.
Then came the weekend at our family's vacation home.
I thought I'd finally found someone who didn't see me as Kai's younger brother.
It was a two-story house near a lake, with creaky stairs and a kitchen that always smelled faintly of damp wood.
My parents invited everyone for a long weekend.
Kai arrived first, naturally.
By the time Molly and I got there, he was already telling Dad about his latest project.
My parents invited everyone for a long weekend.
"There she is! My favorite daughter-in-law!"
I carried our bags upstairs.
The next morning, Mom discovered she'd forgotten half the groceries.
Mom discovered she'd forgotten half the groceries.
Kai barely looked up from his coffee.
"Grab some of those fancy crackers Molly likes."
"Grab some of those fancy crackers Molly likes."
The grocery store was crowded, but I found everything on the list.
I returned earlier than expected because the deli counter had been closed.
My parents were out walking by the lake.
I returned earlier than expected.
I carried two bags into the kitchen.
Then I heard Molly laughing upstairs.
The one she made when something genuinely amused her.
I was about to call out when I heard Kai's voice.
I heard Molly laughing upstairs.
"Does he suspect anything?"
I stopped at the foot of the stairs.
"Are you kidding? He trusts both of us."
I stood there holding a bag of groceries.
"Does he suspect anything?"
Then Kai's bedroom door opened.
Molly stepped into the hallway.
She turned back, slipped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.
I backed into the kitchen before they saw me.
One grocery bag slipped from my hand.
A jar of olives rolled across the floor.
I caught it before it reached the cabinets.
Then I stood there staring at the jar.
For a moment, I couldn't decide which name hurt more.
I wanted to march upstairs.
I wanted to ask how long it had been happening.
Instead, I heard footsteps.
I shoved the groceries onto the counter and opened the refrigerator.
Molly came downstairs first.
"Did you get the crackers?"
I had to grip the refrigerator door to keep from moving away.
"Hey, little brother. Need help?"
He took a bottle of water and went outside.
I finished putting away the groceries.
Even then, I couldn't stop doing the job I'd been sent to do.
I finished putting away the groceries.
At dinner that night, Kai was unusually cheerful.
He poured wine for our parents and announced that he had something important to share at the family dinner the following evening.
"Big personal news," he said.
He had something important to share at the family dinner.
"Are you seeing someone?"
Molly concentrated on cutting her chicken.
"Are you seeing someone?"
"Well, whatever it is, I'm sure we'll be proud."
Kai grinned as though Dad had already given him permission.
I looked down at my plate.
Apparently, Kai was planning a celebration.
"I'm sure we'll be proud."
And somehow, my marriage was going to be part of it.
That night, Molly fell asleep beside me.
I lay awake listening to the lake wind rattling the bedroom window.
I remembered the first time Molly had noticed I was upset after a family dinner.
That night, Molly fell asleep beside me.
She'd squeezed my hand beneath the table.
"You don't have to compete with him," she'd whispered.
Now I wondered how many times she'd sat beside me while thinking about Kai.
At four in the morning, I got up and went downstairs.
I sat at the kitchen table until the sky began to lighten.
By breakfast, I'd made my decision.
"I'm not feeling well," I told everyone. "I'm heading home."
"But we're having dinner together tonight."
"No, stay. Enjoy the weekend."
Kai leaned back in his chair.
"Always leaving before the fun starts, Kevin."
"Enjoy your announcement."
"Always leaving before the fun starts, Kevin."
His smile faltered briefly.
I drove home without turning on the radio.
Molly's shoes sat beside the front door.
His smile faltered briefly.
Her coffee mug was in the sink.
A sweater she'd worn the previous evening hung over a dining chair.
I wanted to throw everything into a box.
Instead, I made coffee I couldn't drink.
Around noon, I called my mother.
I wanted to throw everything into a box.
"Kevin? Are you feeling better?"
"Well, Kai's being mysterious about tonight. He says he has something important to tell us."
"Do you know what it is?"
"Kai's being mysterious about tonight."
I looked toward the stairs.
"Mom, Molly and I are having serious problems."
"I don't want to discuss them over the phone."
"Oh, Kevin. Is Molly all right?"
"Whatever Kai says tonight, please don't let him speak for me."
"It means I haven't asked him to explain my marriage."
Then she said, "All right."
I thanked her and hung up.
That was the only call I made.
That was the only call I made.
I didn't send photographs.
I didn't ask my parents to take sides.
I just refused to let Kai tell them what I supposedly felt.
The afternoon passed slowly.
At six, I tried eating a sandwich.
I didn't send photographs.
At seven, my phone began vibrating.
MOLLY: What did you tell your mother?
I set the phone facedown.
Twenty minutes later, someone pounded on my front door.
I looked through the peephole.
Molly stood on the porch, pale and clutching her phone.
Someone pounded on my front door.
Kai was beside her, his nostrils flared and his face flushed.
I opened the door partway.
"What the hell have you done?!"
I looked from her to Kai.
"Good evening to you too."
I looked from her to Kai.
"You turned Mom and Dad against us!"
I leaned against the doorframe.
"What did you tell them?"
"Do you know?" she whispered.
"I came back early yesterday."
Her eyes moved toward Kai.
"I heard what you said upstairs," I revealed. "Then I watched you kiss him."
"I watched you kiss him."
"You made an announcement. I wasn't there."
"Because I didn't want you telling her how I felt."
"You could've warned us."
"I didn't want you telling her how I felt."
"I'm sorry. Was I supposed to help you rehearse?"
Kai ran a hand through his hair.
"Mom said I had no right to announce the end of your marriage for you. She asked whether you'd actually agreed to any of it."
"Mom said I had no right to announce the end of your marriage for you."
"What did you tell them?"
"Kai told them we'd developed feelings for each other. He said you and I hadn't been happy for a long time."
"He said our marriage was practically over."
"What did you tell them?"
"You've been miserable for years."
"Funny. I thought I was married to Molly, not you."
"Kevin, things have been difficult between us."
"You've been miserable for years."
"Then you could've told me."
I looked at the two of them standing together on my porch.
"Now Mom and Dad won't even let us stay at the lake house."
"That's what you're upset about?"
"They told us to leave after dinner!"
"They said we couldn't use their house to announce a relationship behind your back and then expect them to celebrate it."
For once, my parents had asked Kai to handle his own problem.
"They told us to leave after dinner!"
He looked genuinely offended.
Molly rubbed her forehead.
"I don't know everything yet," I said. "But we're not pretending this marriage is fine."
"Can we please talk inside?"
"Not tonight. I'll contact you about collecting your things."
Kai stepped forward again.
"And where are we supposed to go?"
"You two seem very good at finding rooms together."
"Where are we supposed to go?"
Then I stood in the hallway, listening until their car pulled away.
I walked toward the stairs.
Molly's shoes were still beside the front door.
I sat down on the bottom step.
For several minutes, I couldn't bring myself to move them.
Three days later, Mom asked me to visit.
Dad was waiting at the kitchen table.
"We're terribly sorry about Molly," Mom said.
"But Kai's made a terrible mistake. We can't let this tear the family apart."
"We're terribly sorry about Molly."
"What would you like me to do?"
"Perhaps talk to him. Hear him out."
"Dad, do you remember my twenty-seventh birthday?"
"The year Kai got promoted?"
"We apologized for forgetting. We sent you a gift."
"I brought a cake that night."
"Chocolate. I put it in your refrigerator while everyone congratulated Kai. Nobody noticed. I took it home unopened."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"I did. I told you it was my birthday."
"We thought the present made up for it."
"I didn't want a bigger present. I wanted you to remember I was there."
"We thought the present made up for it."
"I'm not helping Kai explain this away. And I'm not discussing my marriage with him."
I let her hold it briefly.
"I'm not discussing my marriage with him."
But I wasn't ready to pretend everything was fixed.
Over the following weeks, I met with a divorce attorney and arranged for Molly to collect her belongings.
I met with a divorce attorney.
"Then you could've told me you wanted to leave," I said.
Kai called once, asking me to contact a contractor who'd worked on the vacation home.
"His number's in the family contact list," I told him.
Two months later, Kai asked to meet for coffee.
He spent ten minutes complaining that Mom and Dad treated him differently now.
Then he mentioned that things with Molly weren't easy.
"I guess you know what it's like," he said.
"Being treated like the bad guy."
Dad treated him differently now.
"I know what it's like to be treated like the less important guy. That's different."
Kai stared at his coffee.
After a while, he said, "I was a terrible brother."
"I was a terrible brother."
"If we talk again," I added, "don't begin by asking me to fix something for you."
I left money for my coffee and went home.
By my next birthday, the divorce was moving forward.
A few friends took me to a small restaurant.
By my next birthday, the divorce was moving forward.
Dad had remembered my favorite chocolate cake.
After dinner, Dad asked whether I had any plans for the coming year.
"Actually, I'm thinking about taking a trip."
Just then, a message appeared.
KAI: Happy birthday. I remembered.
Then I turned the phone facedown.
Just then, a message appeared.
I opened a map and pointed to the route I'd been considering.
"How long would you go for?"
I opened a map and pointed to the route I'd been considering.
Dad moved the cake plate aside to make room for my phone.
"Tell us where you'd start."
"Tell us where you'd start."