In all relationships, there are disagreements, misunderstandings, arguments. If sometimes you think it’s because of the other, it could be you who is your own saboteur.
While relationships can be complicated sometimes, you may not even realize that you are actually compromising your chances of forming successful, meaningful, and lasting relationships with your partner.
Some thoughts and behaviors can be considered entirely benign, but in reality, they can directly contribute to the ultimate demise of your relationship. However, it is not always easy to identify our behaviors that ruin the relationship we are in.
1. Your Ego Is Too Strong
If you don’t put your pride aside sometimes, you’ll constantly be fighting. You will prefer to be right at all costs, to the detriment of your relationship. When your ego takes precedence over the rest, you are sabotaging your relationship.
2. Your Arguments Are Not Constructive
Do you often argue over everything and nothing? And during these arguments, do you sometimes show yourself to be unfair and insulting towards the other?
It is then possible that your behavior is harmful to your relationship. If you don’t sit down to exchange arguments and think about a solution together, you will never find a solution.
3. You Value Other People’s Opinions Too Much
Sometimes, the opinions of those around you are significant in your decision-making. And there are times when their opinions outweigh your critical thinking or that of your partner. Ultimately, their influence may bias your judgment.
4. You Are Too Emotionally Dependent
Emotional dependence on your partner can take a toll on your relationship. It is characterized by a need to be constantly valued, the fear of separation, a lack of self-confidence. The behavior of your partner influences your self-esteem.
This can be a big problem in your relationship. To free yourself from it, you first need to recognize the problem, which can be difficult. Then, the intervention of a professional may be helpful to restore your self-confidence.
5. You Are Too Critical Of Your Relationship
When you’re in a relationship, don’t automatically contemplate the worst. If you tell yourself that your relationship is fleeting anyway, you’re not giving yourself the chance to be happy. You are not enjoying the present moment. Don’t overthink it, enjoy. No matter the outcome, it will have been worth it anyway.
6. You Repeat The Same Patterns In Your Relationships
If your relationships always end the same way, you may be stuck in a relationship pattern for the same reasons. Subconsciously, you repeat the same mistakes, choose the same type of partner that does not suit you.
It would be unreasonable to think that you are “just” out of luck. There may be a problem to identify. For this, introspection with the help of a psychologist or therapist is recommended.
7. You Think Your Relationship Won’t Last Long
One apparent sign that you sabotage your chances of having a happy future, healthy and sustainable with your partner, is that you do not really think there is a future.
To that end (so to speak), if you genuinely believe that your relationship will not work out, those pessimistic thoughts will likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That kind of cynicism will negatively impact your behavior with your partner.
8. You Only See Your Partner’s Faults
This is perhaps one of the obvious signs that you are sabotaging your romantic relationship. Indeed, when you focus on the negative aspects of your partner, you are hurting yourself and your other half.
Your partner may feel like they are not good enough for you and are not making you happy, and that’s a problem. To change things, you just have to ignore what you dislike about the other. It’s not that easy, but it’s essential.
9. You Hide Things From Your Partner
If you want a long-lasting relationship, then trust is essential. When you hide things from others, even if they are minimal, you create a climate of distrust and distance. Trust is earned.
And precisely, to be able to deserve the trust of your spouse, you have to know how to tell the truth, to dare to admit things, even if you fear the reaction of the other. No one can blame someone for telling them the truth, but they can blame you for keeping it from them.
As Beyoncé and Jay-Z, your partner should be a partner, not a rival. If your partner’s success annoys you, that’s a bad sign. Genuinely celebrating each other’s success is essential in a healthy relationship, even if things aren’t looking so good for you. In a relationship, resentment is painful and alienating.