A Guide To Handle Different Libidos In A Relationship

Being in a relationship requires both partners to be compatible to feel comfortable and loved at all times. Sometimes certain things are less compatible than others, though. 

In many relationships, each partner has their own libido that might not necessarily match their partner. It can seem like something that could potentially tear the couple apart, but it is something that can be handled quite easily. 

Here’s how you can deal with having different libidos in one relationship. 

Talk It Out 


For some couples, it is difficult to have honest and open conversations. However, in the case of differing libidos, you and your partner must take the time to talk to one another about what your expectations are. 

Doing this will help you reach conclusions and come up with solutions that could help you both be happier in your relationship. Try and approach the subject with an open heart and mind so that you never feel awkward. 



This might seem like an odd thing to do, but it is a good idea to schedule sex when you have differing libidos. It might be a bit strange at first or even feel clinical, but it will help you have a healthier sex life in the long run. 

Scheduling sex means that you and your partner both know what to expect and when which means that you will be able to satisfy each other’s needs without neglecting or bombarding the other person

Foster Intimacy 


Often, a high sex drive can be attributed to the need for intimacy. It might not be that the person wants to be having sex constantly, but it does mean that the person is craving the intimacy that comes with it. 

To foster intimacy in the relationship, you can practice non-sexual acts that will help you at this like holding space for one another or speaking about things that bother you. 

Use Toys


If you have two different libidos in your relationship and you can see no other way around it, one of the best things that you can do is to buy some toys to help with the situation. One partner can use the toys on the other partner with the higher sex drive. 

You could also simply use the toys on yourself if your partner is not up to it. This is an easy way to ensure that you stay satisfied throughout your relationship and that your partner is not put under any pressure. 

Take Control


Many times in a relationship, the person who does not have a high sex drive is afraid to make the first move and might feel intimidated by sex somehow. 

If this is the case, the person with the higher sex drive or simply the more confident person should control the situation. However, it is important to establish whether or not this is the case before you try it to avoid any conflict.

Written By:
Daniella Segell

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