A Guide To Reducing Critical Self-Talk

Apr 22, 2021
02:00 P.M.
Share this pen

We can often be one of our most prominent critics, making self-compassion challenging. The conversation we have with ourselves


You've practiced your affirmations, but something about everything you've said to yourself feels like a lie. There's a nagging voice inside you telling you that you are not good enough to be here or do that thing. And then that all too familiar voice reminds you of that time; you failed because "you weren't good enough." Oh my goodness! The voice clearly knows you; it must be, right, right?

Not exactly. These are the workings of your inner critic, sometimes referred to as our saboteur. It's the inner voice that makes you question your abilities, your dreams, and essentially yourself. Here's a guide on how to spot the sneaky saboteur trying to have its way in your life and responding to yourself with compassion.

Identify Your Inner Critic

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash


Your critic can try to stop you from fulfilling some of your goals or facing some of your fears. The primary purpose of your saboteur is to keep you in a place of "comfort," even when it's no longer serving you, but it feels so familiar that the voice in your head tries to convince you to stay right there.

While it might seem normal, not identifying this force in your life can hold you back in different spheres of your life. To spot it, be detailed in who, or what it looks and sounds like. Once you can put a face to the voice, so to speak, it's easier to tell it "not today, buddy."

Photo by Vinicius

Photo by Vinicius


Your saboteur will often base its dialogue on a small bit of truth to try and validate the negativity. For instance, if you've been thinking of starting a new venture, your critical internal voice might say things like, "You don't know what you're doing. When have you ever done something like this? Remember that time you tried something new, and someone thought it was silly?"

Choosing Self-Compassion

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

Think of self-compassion or being gentle with yourself as being kinder to yourself. Much like how you would treat a loved one you want the best for, approach yourself with that similar tenderness and well-intent.


Consider self-compassion as a step deeper into self-care and reflecting on your internal self instead of the external. Instead of the beautifully scented candles and the bubble bath (which are lovely), consider going to the root to help you find relief.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

"It's this ability, when we are suffering, to stand back and say: 'What is this about, why do I feel this? And what would be the most helpful thing for me now?'"

Paul Gilbert, a clinical psychologist and the founder of the Compassionate Mind Foundation, told "The Guardian."


Think Happy Thoughts

Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

Well, not so much happy thoughts, but try and combat the pessimistic voice with a "positive" voice. One that can look at what has (the dream, the will, the interest) instead of the supposed lack.

Keep affirming yourself despite the critic. You can write down some of the things you've done that you were proud of and remind yourself that you did that. This can help you to express yourself too.

While you may not be able to stop the inner critic, identifying it and its motives is the first step at diminishing its control. Next time it comes lurking, you'll know that you are actually enough and you're worth being heard.

Related posts

What Is Grayromantic and How Is It Different from Aromanticism?

July 24, 2023

Jelly Nails - The Bright Sheer Manicure Trend Applicable in Different Colors

October 23, 2023

Y2K Makeup Ideas: Reliving Nostalgic Glamour for the Modern Age

August 24, 2023

Aloe Vera Skincare: Harnessing the Power of Nature for Healthy Skin

August 25, 2023

Are Claw Clips Bad for Your Hair? Exploring the Benefits & Easy Hairstyles

August 03, 2023

Jojoba Oil for Nails: Discover the Benefits of This Natural Nail Care Solution

August 17, 2023

Why Does My Makeup Look Patchy? Skincare Tips for a Flawless Look

August 22, 2023

Y2K Nails: Easy Designs for Everyone to Rock the Retro Vibe

August 14, 2023

Helpful Tips to Properly Care For Oily Dehydrated Skin

July 17, 2023

Douyin Makeup Tutorial: A Guide to the Viral Beauty Trend

August 10, 2023

Trendy Preppy Hairstyle Ideas for Everyone

August 26, 2023

Type 2B Hair: How to Identify & Style This Wavy Hair Type

October 02, 2023

Navigating the Talking Phase and Signs It Is Going Well

July 27, 2023

How to Make Eyeliner Out of Eyeshadow: 8 Life Hacks for a Vibrant & Lasting Finish

September 18, 2023