Sometimes talking it out is helpful, but it can get you stuck in the same feelings over and over again with no resolve! If you’re not feeling better afterward, is it really helping you?
Some days things frustrate you a little too much and leave you unsettled. It helps to get things off your chest, and talking about it gets it out of your head. But doing it too often can lead to being stuck in a negative cycle.
Instead of just letting out your frustrations and moving on, you get stuck in them. It’s hard to break the cycle and somewhat difficult to recognize when you’re doing it.
Attacking someone’s character
When venting, the situation quickly turns to an attack on someone’s character. You start criticizing their behavior and start thinking that you’re better than them for whatever reason.
Staying fixated on someone else’s faults doesn’t allow you to move past the situation. You’ll be so bothered about what is wrong with them that you won’t be able to move past the situation.
So talking about your problems constantly makes you feel like the victim. When you’re blaming everyone else for your problems, you’re not making yourself accountable for any part in it.
The other person can’t always be the only one with faults and always in the wrong. Sometimes it’s our fault as well! Only when we take responsibility can we come to resolve conflict.
Are you being helpful or harmful?
We’ve all been there for our friends, encouraging negative talk while trying to be there for them. But having their best interests at heart, your focus should be on problem-solving!
Validate their concerns, their emotions, make them feel heard. But also work towards a solution that’ll leave them feeling better about themselves and the situation.
Alternatives to venting
If it’s not easy for you to let things go, venting is going to rile you up and leave you angry again. If that’s the case, you’re going to need to find another way to deal with your anger and hurt.
You can try being more mindful and practicing it through meditation. Thinking about nothing and getting centered with yourself can help you let things go!
Breathing techniques can help you calm down and even think rational thoughts in a state of anger. You can even learn to break away from negative thoughts by focusing solely on your breathing, and you’ll be able to react calmly.
If the situation that angers you keeps coming up, then maybe you should address it. Doing it calmly and even using a buffer person if necessary. Working together with the person that’s causing you inner turmoil is better than suffering alone.
Get your blood pumping and exercise your frustrations away! You should focus on self-improvement at the gym, but going a little harder at the gym can help you work off your stress and frustrations.
You don’t have to stop venting altogether. You just have to make sure that it’s not leaving you riled up again and again when you do it. You should be able to vent about your problems and, in the end, feel better about how you’re going to tackle them!
Dr Saadiqah Hajat