Love Languages: Realistic Concept Or Just Trendy

Apr 08, 2021
06:00 A.M.
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Recently, love languages have had a steep increase in popularity. Everybody is talking about love languages and how to find your own. Millions of videos and articles explain what the five love languages are and give examples of them.


However, not many articles discuss whether or not love languages are actually real or if they’re just the buzzword of the moment that will soon fizzle out to make way for a new trend in the relationship sphere.

We’re unpacking the five love languages and whether or not they’re real.

What Are The Five Love Languages?


An author named Gary Chapman wrote a book quite some time ago about the five love languages. It first became popular amongst Christian circles, but it has recently gained popularity in many other circles.

The book details five primary ways in which people give and receive love. These ways were dubbed “love languages,” and people are said to have one primary love language, which is how they prefer to give and receive love.


The idea is that to make someone feel loved and validated, you must express love for them in their love language and not yours. Expressing love for another person in your love language may lead to them not feeling loved or validated.

How Do You Use Love Languages?


Firstly, it is essential to know exactly what your love language is, as well as the person you are trying to give love to a love language. This will ensure that everybody is happy when giving and receiving love.

If you’re not sure what your love language is, there is a quiz that you can take that will map out what your primary love language is for you. If you can, get your partner to take the quiz too so that you’re aware of both of your love languages.

Are They Real?


Marriage counselors and therapists have said that love languages are indeed real and can be put to good use in relationships. While they are a buzzword at the moment, they are real and will be used in marriage and relationship counseling for years to come.

The most important thing to remember about love languages is not to take them too literally. Acts of service don’t only necessarily include making tea in the morning; they could also include something that you mentioned months ago that your partner remembered.


Love languages can also identify deficits in a relationship. Your partner might believe that their love language is physical touch simply because they aren’t being touched enough in the relationship. However, their primary love language could be entirely different.

Love languages can also change over time. As people, we are constantly evolving and changing, which means so will our needs and desires. You should regularly check in with your partner to see whether your love languages have changed so that you can continue to make your partner feel happy and fulfilled.

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