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Navigating How To Get Over The Shame Of Online Dating


February 02, 2021

If silencing Tinder notifications and repeatedly snoozing your Bumble profile is your thing, keep reading. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all done that; it just takes a brave few to admit to any of it. 

Online dating is not a foreign concept, especially not in 2021 during a global pandemic. Many people turn to dating apps to forge new connections or engage in some flirty fun, but many are still embarrassed.

You’re better off meeting people on an app instead of a bar these days, making the shame even more absurd. Read further to explore the shame behind online dating and how to get over it when it hits. 

Identifying The Shame

If you think back to the last six years, you will realize that most couples you know met online. Whether it was Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Tinder, social media has made meeting people a lot easier. 

Unfortunately, not too many people are proud to admit that they’ve met their partners online. Several people have admitted to lying to friends and family about their relationship’s digital origin story. 

“Some daters carry a sense of shame that they haven’t met someone yet, that love didn’t just fall into their lap, and they feel embarrassed that they have to put in effort to hunt for it online,”

Says Samantha Burns

Dating coach Samantha Burns identifies fear of looking “desperate” as one of the reasons for embarrassment. Many see this act as eliminating an effortless and romantic match up. 

Missing The Romance

We’ve all seen at least one romantic comedy in our lives, and we are familiar with the scenarios. Everybody would prefer an accidental coffee shop meet up that turns into a romantic story for the ages. 

Seeking out a relationship with your intentions on full display could reduce the first encounter’s romantic element. When you think of the greatest love stories, you do not think of an app, which affects many. 

Some people have even been in relationships where they discuss changing their origin story. It can be difficult for some to confess that their fairytale love affair started as a practical search for love. 

Getting Over The Shame

There isn’t one solid reason for the shame that people feel when dating online. This means that there are several ways to deal with the embarrassment one feels from seeking a relationship on social media. 


It is essential to affirm yourself when you are doing something helpful, even if it may feel strange. There is no shame in going for what you want, and if it takes telling yourself a few things to get through it, great. 

Adopt Taylor Swift’s attitude and shake off any perceptions you think other people may have of you. It is your life, and you shouldn’t have to restrict your happiness to impress others, who probably also have the apps. 

It’s vital to note that the internet broadens your horizons, so why not make the world your oyster? It also takes courage to put yourself out there, so cut yourself some slack for not being a coward and live your life.