At some point, no matter how hard you try, losing touch with people becomes inevitable. For a long time, I hammered myself for all the things I couldn’t control. As of now, I’m still learning to break free from self-blame.
It baffles me when I look at old pictures and find so many familiarly unfamiliar faces. Starting from high school days to college times and beyond, there are so many people I don’t talk to or who don’t speak to me anymore.
It’s always a two-way street, but it can take a while for such realities to sink in sometimes. So here’s to all the friends with whom I lost connection over time: Thank you for teaching me that the world doesn’t come crashing down when we’re left with no one but ourselves.
The Friendship Equation
There are no rules in friendship, but there should be certain responsibilities we can choose to share. When one friend goes out of their way to check up on the other, expecting the same in return isn’t unjustified.
However, sometimes it can be, and we only learn that in due time. When you feel like you’re asking too much or expecting the unexpected, you’re displaying your most vulnerable side to your friend, which can be toyed with if you’re not careful enough.
When I think back to how I made friends with people who are still around, I realize it was a mutual effort. And even though it does take away the pressure of not being the only one worthy of blame, it doesn’t entirely obliterate the pain of loss.
The Rights & Wrongs
As an introvert and a Libra, I’ve always struggled in the people department. In my efforts to harmonize and keep the peace, I never realized all the chaos I was collecting for myself until it started consuming me from within.
If you’re the silent type of friend, you’ll always be put to the test by the talkers in the group. And even though you may have all the intelligent rebuttals to present, you’ll prefer not to say too much to spare them the misery and drama.
But does it all really help? Even if you do everything right, some people don’t want to stick around, and they’re entitled to their decision. Instead of trying to compel them to stay, it’s probably best to go with the flow. You’ll be alright, in time, trust me.
We all lose touch with people every day. Someone leaves the town or moves to a different country, or sometimes, they just shut us out, and that’s a part of life. While we may be responsible for all the abandonment we’ve ever faced, sometimes we’re not.
When we were young, adding all schoolfellows on social media seemed like an exciting notion. Now that we look at our friend list as adults, it is baffling to find only a handful of friends we’re in touch with even today.
What Does Growing Up Look Like
The process of self-transformation is one of the most critical phases of our life. Transitioning from a child to an adult is scary, but it teaches us life-altering lessons. And for me, growing up has equated to losing touch with a bunch of friends.
While there’s nothing wrong with going out of your way to being there for someone, sometimes, you have to stop and be there for yourself too. And the moment you start prioritizing and understanding yourself, you begin to see your self-worth fully.
As someone who made the mistake of depending on others for self-validation, the post-college era and the pandemic have done me a considerable service. Sometimes, losing connection with friends can mean finding yourself, and if that’s the case, then it’s all worth it.