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Unpacking Celibacy In Relationships


April 12, 2021

We live in an age of sexual liberation. We have become much more aware that sex is a normal part of life and that people, women especially, should not be shamed for enjoying sex or having multiple sexual partners. 

However, many people have decided that sex isn’t serving their lives the way they would like it to and have chosen to remain celibate. This can mean anybody from a single person to one who is happily married. 

We’re unpacking what it means to be celibate and how it can affect your life. 

Stories About Celibacy

Many people have practiced celibacy as single people and as people who are in a committed relationship. Their reasons have ranged over everything from religion to simply not wanting anything to do with sex. 

One couple who was in a committed relationship initially decided they would not have sex for 40 days. However, they then decided that they would not have sex until their wedding day, which was over 1000 days later. This couple went from having sex weekly to not having sex at all for three years. 

They said that it encouraged them to stop using sex as a placeholder for emotions like joy, anger, excitement, or appreciation. They began actually to express their feelings for one another verbally. It also gave them a chance to know each other on a spiritual level truly and bear their souls to one another.

One woman, who decided that it was time to be single after 18 years of being in relationships, tried celibacy as a way to connect with herself. She deleted every dating app that she had and was celibate for ten months. 

She said that celibacy allowed her to truly connect with herself and begin to feel independent. She stopped seeing men only as objects with which to have sex and, in turn, stopped seeing women as competition to get to that object. 

The Effects Of Celibacy

While there are many apparent benefits to celibacy, like little to no risk of unintended pregnancies or STIs, celibacy has more subtle effects on people that ultimately make that person better. 

Celibacy has led many people to feel empowered and liberated as they have chosen something that does not conform to most of society, and they stick to it. It also allows you to get to know your partner on a deeper level if you are in a relationship and might allow you to focus more on your family, your career, and your hobbies. 


However, some people have reported that they struggle to form romantic relationships while staying celibate. Others have said that it has made them feel less desirable even if they have chosen to be celibate. 

Celibacy is not an easy task to carry out, and it is certainly not for everybody, but if you have an urge to try celibacy, you should. Even if you aren’t celibate for an extended period of time, it will allow you to realize things about yourself and your partner that you didn’t think were there.