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10 Things To Consider Before Moving In Together


April 04, 2021

According to Pew Research, 9.2 million Americans millennial couples are living together. Moreso, a 2015 study stated that the number of couples living together has doubled in the last 25 years, and 66% of married couples lived together before tying the knot.

If you are ready for cuffing season, then there are a few things to consider before taking the leap. During this process, you want to be open and clear about expectations to avoid disappointments down the line.

What are some of the things you want to take into consideration? Who will be responsible for what? This article examines these questions in a list of ten things you must consider before moving in together.

Who Pays 

In many cases, it is pretty standard for many couples to have contrasting opinions about money. For instance, it is normal for one person to be a saver and another to be a spender. However, this does not mean an immediate breakup.

Decide if you will both have a joint account. Furthermore, settle on who is responsible for what. This way, even if you have different ideas about money, you can still find a middle ground to work with.

Whose Names Are On The Lease?

Asking this question might be uncomfortable, seeing that it points to the possible end of the relationship down the line. However, asking is super important to avoid the both of you feeling blindsided when you might have to deal with it later.

Consider Who Handles Shopping And Groceries

Decide who will be responsible for certain chores to divide them equally. Doing so is beneficial in the long run as you might find out that each of you might prefer a particular task. Furthermore, you can set up a wheel of chores or a schedule.

What Are Your Ideas On Hosting?

Maybe your partner would love to catch up on some TV shows with their friends or siblings, or you may want to have drinks with your friends. Either way, each of your finding visitors in your space without prior notice is not a welcoming sight.

This would be a good place to set up boundaries with one another, especially if one of you is a planner and another is spontaneous. You can make sure to give each other notice beforehand in acknowledgment that you are both sharing the space.

Understand Expectations

Don't feel silly about this. Having all your expectations laid out on the table is essential to establish what you want from your new situation. Instead of making this a super formal conversation, make it casual and open.

Some things to consider are: do you both view your living situation as permanent or something that could lead to marriage? What changes should be expected with the move? Setting it straight will keep you and your partner in the right direction.

Agree On The Location

Sometimes some couples move in together and realize that the house's location will be a source of conflict. Instead, decide on each other preferences, how far your shared space will be from your work and the things you both cannot live with, and come to a middle ground.

Set Up A "Breakup Plan"

If you would prefer not to think of this as a 'break up' plan, that's perfectly alright. Nobody wants to sit down and imagine or acknowledge the possible split up from their significant other. However, it is vital to set up rules about each other's belongings.

This is because cohabiting couples do not have legal protection. However, if you have a cohabiting agreement, it lists the equitable distribution of assets in case of a breakup. Therefore, you may want to list out what belongs to whom and what is to be sold or kept.

Rites and Rituals

We all do not grow up in the same households, even if you and your partner have similar tastes. Think about it long enough, and you may realize that both of you have very different ideas about certain rituals due to your upbringing.

Some families make a point to eat dinner every day together; some don't. Instead of insisting on your way, the both of you can have a frank discussion on what new rituals you both would like to do. Together imagine the home you would like and set out to create it.


Consider How To Handle Stress

Life is not always daisies and roses. You and your partner will argue, and unlike the point in time where you might have avoided each other due to distance, living together will take that away from you.

Therefore, both of you should be able to have an honest discussion on how you deal with stress. Do one of you pull away, or does the other want to face it head-on? Whatever you decide on, it great to be honest about it before moving in together. 

Prepare For The Uncomfortable

Lastly, on a similar note to the above point, prepare for the uncomfortable. It's easy to present one way in dating than in living together. Think of the whole toilet seat up of down debacle, the plate not in the dishwasher debacle. You both might be different so remember to both compromise.