A Guide To Fighting Fair In Your Relationship
No matter how happy your relationship is, you cannot wholly avoid conflict and fights. However, engaging in an argument doesn’t have to put a strain on your relationship if you do it right.
Bickering with your partner is not something you can avoid forever. At some point, you or your partner will do something to upset the other, which is part of being human. What matters is how you approach the fight.
People have different ways of fighting, and some of them can be exceedingly hurtful. To remove the hurtfulness from your arguments, we’ve gathered a few tips to help you fight more fairly with your partner.
Avoid Playing The Blame Game
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The way you frame your concerns is essential for how you argue. Your partner will respond much better when you tell them how you feel instead of accusing them of doing something to make you upset.
“If you lead with accusation or blame, they won’t hear what you want them to hear. They’reThey’re going to feel, at fault and you won’t get through,”
Says Meg Batterson, a couples psychotherapist
Stop And Think
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We’ve all been in situations where we get heated up and emotional and say something we’ll regret later. Unfortunately, you can’t take back words, so it’s ideal to stop and think about how you’ll communicate your grievances.
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Interrupting someone during an argument is a clear indication that you’re only listening to respond. Couples therapists revealed that this is something one does when they’re trying to dominate their partner.
It is essential to listen intently when your partner airs things out with you to understand them. Using objects as an indicator of who’s turn it is to speak is a great way to eradicate this issue.
Keep The Fight’s Goal In Mind
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When you’re fighting with your partner, it’s crucial to remember that they are a person you respect. The goal of a fight should always be to understand each other and become closer afterward, so always remember that.
Never Bring Up The Past
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Bringing up your partner’s past transgressions will only hurt you rather than prove your points any further. When you constantly bring up the past, it may indicate that you have an issue with forgiveness.
Although you may have some past hurt to deal with, you must remember to deal with one issue at a time. You can deal with past hurts at a later stage, as long as you deal with the original issue at hand first.