A Guide To Stop People Pleasing And Set Boundaries In Relationships

Jun 05, 2021
10:00 A.M.
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Be comfortable with saying no, especially if you find yourself bending over backward trying to please others at the expense of your happiness, well-being, and finances. Therefore, take a minute and assess if you are true to yourself.


Put your hand up if you often find yourself taking the blame when it isn't your fault, not being strict with your boundaries, and remaining silent when you have issues, to mention a few. Repeatedly doing this by indulging in this negative behavior will turn you into a doormat.

Now while that is not your intention, it is essential to learn to say no. When you get out of your head because nothing bad will happen, it's just for your well-being. Therefore, stop stretching your boundaries using this advice to prevent people-pleasing.

Take Time

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash


Embarking on a journey of saying no is complex and might need some time. Therefore, if you find yourself in a position where someone asks you to do something, and you're unsure of how you feel, let them know you will get back to them.

You can take your time before you answer them while you reassess your values. It's also way better than hurryingly saying yes that you might probably regret. Thus, take your time, think of the best way to say no if you don't want to do it.

Begin By Saying No To Small Things.

Photo by Fa Barboza on Unsplash

Photo by Fa Barboza on Unsplash


Saying no is like building a muscle. Before it becomes strong enough to lift heavier weights, it first begins with smaller weights. Therefore, apply the same theory in your life and start saying no to a couple of minor things in the week ahead.

If you're not sure where to start, think of saying no to those expensive last-minute additions from a waiter or a costly upgrade you know you don't need. Consequently, these tiny instances will build up your confidence, helping you tap into a new level of freedom.

Don't Over-Apologize

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash


Just because you have worked up the confidence to refuse something doesn't mean you need to go on an over-explaining spree. Remember, you have not done anything wrong. You're only protecting your wants and needs, so stop being embarrassed about it.

Besides, it won't be easy to be happy if you live to make others happy. Healthy people will respect your boundaries and live by them. Always keep in mind that you, too, are worthy of self-love and respect that has to start from you.

Set Boundaries Around The People Around You

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash


Set some time aside and assess your circle of friends. You might have a friend similar to a leech, always asking for things but never offering anything in return. Then when you are really in need, they are nowhere to be found.

Also, think of those friends who you truly know deep inside, that take advantage of your willingness, and those you genuinely want to be available to. Doing this will help you recognize what extent you're willing to go to for the people around you.

There Is A Yes Behind Every No

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash


Remember, you matter too, and when you say no to something, you have created time to do something else. Even if you don't necessarily have a plan, you can use that time for something that will develop you instead of babysitting Mandy's pet for ten hours.

Do something you love, like going to a cooking class, reading a fantastic book, or practicing some serious self-care. Therefore, the more you stop extending yourself doing things you don't love, it is always a more satisfying feeling doing activities you genuinely care about.

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