logo
A Young Man and Woman Are Pictured Out on a First Date | Source: Getty Images
A Young Man and Woman Are Pictured Out on a First Date | Source: Getty Images

Questions to Ask to Find Red Flags on a First Date & Signs to Pay Attention To

Akhona Zungu
Mar 09, 2023
06:40 A.M.
Share this pen
FacebookFacebookTwitterTwitterLinkedInLinkedInEmailEmail

Knowing what questions to ask to find red flags or dealbreakers in a potential partner is essential during a first date. Experts in match-making have drawn out which are the most significant, from ice-breakers to what a person is looking for in a relationship.

Advertisement

First dates can be just as exciting as they are nerve-wracking, as one will experience the presence of someone completely new and, most importantly, a potential lover. In such situations, expectations tend to be at an all-time high, as a variety of topics can be covered.

Some subjects, though, such as money or moving in together, can arouse discomfort from either party, which is normal. Still, uncomfortable topics are sometimes necessary; leaving them unaddressed can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

A dining room at an Inn at Vaucluse Springs, Virginia | Source: Getty Images

A dining room at an Inn at Vaucluse Springs, Virginia | Source: Getty Images

Advertisement

If a potential partner or current lover tends to shut uncomfortable topics down, it's a red flag that must be noted and perhaps confronted. As Kimberly Hesherson, a licensed psychologist, spoke of the critical areas of a healthy bond, she explained:

"Communication and trust are two of the most important areas of a relationship. Getting answers to important questions helps build the foundation for a healthy relationship."

And there are several such questions. Depending on the information one seeks about their date, experts have curated the most significant and open-ended questions to help one get to know their potential mate while sifting out any red flags or dealbreakers.

Advertisement
A photo of a minimalistic candle on table at a nightclub with an out of focus background | Source: Getty Images

A photo of a minimalistic candle on table at a nightclub with an out of focus background | Source: Getty Images

How to Prepare Questions for the First Date

One way to prepare is to imagine oneself as an interviewer, looking for specific qualities in a candidate. Then, create a list of questions to help draw out those qualities and find organic ways to blend the questions within the conversation.

Advertisement

One of the best ways to elicit information from someone is by sharing similar information about oneself. For example, sharing a story about a first pet might help reveal if one's date is an animal lover.

Looking out for how the date responds will be telling of their feelings about pets or animals. If they respond with a story about their own pets, they likely have some compassion for animals. If not, they may smile, listen, and shift to another subject.

A top view of man and woman laying on the floor while watching videos on a smartphone in Berlin, Germany | Source: Getty Images

A top view of man and woman laying on the floor while watching videos on a smartphone in Berlin, Germany | Source: Getty Images

Advertisement

Question 1 - How Close Is He to His Family?

Regarding questions to ask a guy, inquire about his familial bonds. If a man has a healthy relationship with his family and supports them, he may be kind and dependable. Moreover, if his relationship with his mother is also healthy, then it's likely that he is respectful toward women.

In some cases, however, an intensely close maternal relationship between a man and his mother can be a cause for concern. It might be dysfunctional in that he may be too dependent on her for even the most minor things.

A mother and son | Source: Getty Images

A mother and son | Source: Getty Images

Advertisement

Question 2 - What Are His Political Ideals?

This one will prompt him to talk about his core values, which may or may not align with the reader. Men's core values also reveal their priorities and desired relationship dynamics. Some of them hold conservative ideals, while others lean toward liberal views.

Some may want subordinate women who are willing to be homemakers only. On the other hand, some men will gladly march alongside women to advocate for their reproductive rights or environmental wellness and safety.

A young woman leading a demonstration using a megaphone | Source: Getty Images

A young woman leading a demonstration using a megaphone | Source: Getty Images

Advertisement

Question 3 - Does He Have a Best Friend?

This question comes in two parts: whether he has a best friend, and the follow-up, "Tell me about him/her..." It is said that if a man has a best friend, it indicates his ability to sustain long-term intimate relationships.

Still, the friendship dynamic might be less than ideal. For example, it may be a red flag if he's overbearing or subservient. Therefore, choosing a man who can create a balanced relationship dynamic will be more beneficial.

Two young men are pictured sitting among plants in an allotment on an urban roof garden sharing a joke | Source: Getty Images

Two young men are pictured sitting among plants in an allotment on an urban roof garden sharing a joke | Source: Getty Images

Advertisement

Question 4 - What Is His Greatest Achievement?

Subtly, this question will reveal a man's true priorities. If his greatest achievement is materialistic, then it's likely that such a man cares little for a woman's qualities or talents but more for how much she could contribute to the relationship regarding money and status.

Question 5 - What Is He Looking For?

This is a question that's largely overlooked, but it's the most revealing when it comes to red flags. It is said that the key to knowing what a man wants, whether to date or in a committed relationship, is listening to what he says and taking it as it is without attaching any desired outcomes to his response.

A smiling couple holding stuffed animal after winning carnival game at an amusement park | Source: Getty Images

A smiling couple holding stuffed animal after winning carnival game at an amusement park | Source: Getty Images

What Other Questions Can I Ask?

Before delving into the five questions to ask on a first date explored above, it might be best to start with ice-breakers. To break the ice, ask about the worst and most fantastic books they've read, their favorite childhood memory, local spot, or place in the world.

Advertisement

The following questions can be work-related or about aspects of their personality, such as whether they see themself as introverted or extroverted. Then, organically, move on to the more profound and more revealing questions.

Red Flags on the First Date

While tardiness is not entirely a red flag, it can be if the date in question arrives incredibly late but shows little concern about the time wasted. Such a person has no respect for their date's time.

They may get too personal too soon by immediately dumping their problems into the first conversation. Such a person may only be interested in an "emotional vehicle" for their troubles. Other red flags include negging, being too confrontational, or pushy

Advertisement
Related posts

Top 5 Worst Zodiac Matches for Your Astrological Sign

December 20, 2022

The Zodiac Sign Least Compatible to Yours When It Comes to Love

January 31, 2023

Zodiac Signs of 'Vampire Diaries' Characters According to Their Temperaments

February 10, 2023

Septum Piercing - From the Pain Level of the Procedure to the Aftercare & Healing Time

January 17, 2023

4 Tips on How to Shoot Your Shot with a Person You Like

December 01, 2022

Nanoblading vs Microblading: What's the Difference between the Brow Treatments?

February 08, 2023

Hand Tattoo Ideas & What to Expect before and after the Procedure

February 20, 2023

20 Best Good-Girl-Bad-Boy Couples in Movies & Television

February 15, 2023

Orange Hair: How to Choose a Shade & Keep It Vibrant

December 13, 2022

Reasons Why Your Hair Will Not Hold Curls & Ways to Fix It

February 12, 2023

Microblading vs. Ombré Shading: A Short Guide on the Popular Eyebrow Styling Techniques

January 18, 2023

Dad Jeans vs Mom Jeans: What Is the Difference & How to Style Them

March 08, 2023

Types of Curtain Bangs for Shorter Hair & How to Style Them

November 17, 2022

Facts about the Double Helix Piercing - Procedure & Aftercare

February 18, 2023

logo

WomanlyLive participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.

Facebook
© 2023 AmoMama Media Limited