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10 Red Flags To Spot If You're Dating A Narcissist


April 16, 2021

Narcissism occurs on a spectrum, and while we all have narcissistic traits to some extent, it can cross a line to the point where narcissism becomes abuse.

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder where a person has a heightened sense of his or her importance and self-admiration."

Psychologist. Dr Martina Paglia told "Glamor"

The reality is that their behavior is not about you. Here are some signs to look out for if you're suspecting narcissistic abuse in your relationship.

They're Charming

Turning up the charm when you like someone is not a problem; however, someone with an NPD may be using the charm as a tool of manipulation. They come on quite strong initially, but once they feel they've hooked you, you may see a behavior change.

The Center Of Attention

Someone with NPD makes everything about them. They love to talk about themselves and maybe disinterested in asking about their partner.

Sense Of Entitlement

They may feel like they should come first in your life and in other things too. Observe how they treat staff members, for instance. If they have an inflated sense of self and show disrespect to perhaps a waiter, you may be dealing with a narc.

They Thrive On Compliments

Shirin Peykar, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist highlight that the primary difference between confidence and those with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is that "narcissists need others to lift them up, and lift themselves up only by putting others down" to "Healthline."

Either A Hero Or A Victim

Whether they saved the day or were the one who was wronged, they're central to the stories they tell. If your partner can't see when they're wrong, they may be displaying signs of narcissism.


When in a conversation or disagreement, they may twist your words and make you out to be wrong all the time. It may make you question yourself and affect your overall confidence.


Missed appointments and broken promises are frequent occurrences in the relationship. A person with NPD may make a lot of promises with very little follow-through on their words.

Lack Of Empathy

Putting themselves in other people's shoes or connecting to someone's humanly pain comes hard to a narcissist. They may say mean things often without consideration of how their words impact others.


Commitment Issues

They may look to find the corners in a circle when confronted with having to define the relationship. They may not want to "tie" themselves to you to "keep their options open" while still reaping the fruit of a relationship. When confronted, they may resort to invalidating your concerns.

Afraid Of Rejection

Rejection isn't fun for anyone, but a narcissist may act especially negatively to the prospect of being rejected. The idea of you breaking up with them might make them panic and try to charm you all over again. Their fear is also the reason for their reluctance to commit.