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5 Signs You Arent Ready To Be Friends With Your Ex

HomeSex&Relationships

December 30, 2020

You’ve come to the end of the road with someone the end of the road with your partner, and you hear the words, “I hope we can still be friends.” But the question can you still friends. 

Depending on what end of the question you’re on, this may be one of the most unreasonable ask fathomable. It can feel like your feelings are being invalidated, and you’re not given the space to go through your anger or hurt that naturally comes after a breakup. 

Strangely enough, it can almost feel like the most logical or mature way forward, but the real issue is that a breakup can bring about much uncertainty. Here are some signs that you may not be ready to be buddies with your ex.

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You’re Have Unresolved Feelings

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If you’re sad, angry, hurt, or in any way upset over the breakup and you’re considering staying friends with an ex, perhaps take a second thought.

There‘s nothing wrong with taking a bit of time to process the feelings, which can take, however long it needs to. Not only that, some days you may feel like you’re walking in the sunshine, and other days, well, they’re just a downright mess.

You Want To Keep Tabs On Them

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If you’ve been through a breakup, you may know the feeling of wanting to camp out on your ex’s social media pages and see what they’re getting up to. Are they still affected by the breakup, or are they moving on? These may be some of the questions that float around in your mind. 

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Psychology Today mentions that “stalkingtends to increase anxiety and jealousy. If you have trouble resisting it, you may be better off de-friending your ex, both on and offline.

You’re Feeling Lonely 

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Loneliness post-breakup is a very normal feeling. This may have been someone that you spent hours of your day talking to or spending your free time with, and now all of a sudden, you’re free time is spent thinking of old habits.

When you’re friends, it’s all too easy to slip back into the comfortable routine and doing what you’d usually do when you were together. Instead, do something else that you like doing or spend time with friends. Healthy distractions can be good at this time. 

You’re Waiting To See You Ex Change

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“Holding out hope that you can one day get back together by remaining friends and staying in each other’s lives will rob you of the opportunity to find the partner you really want.”

As Delawalla noted.

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Not only will it keep you from finding other people, but it will also keep you from altogether finding your happiness on your own. And some instances, the activity of waiting around will prove to be fruitless and futile.

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Either One Of You Is Still In Love With The Other 

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If your ex has unrequited feelings for you, the best thing you can do for them is to let them go. The same is true if you’re the one with the feelings.

This is not a reasonable basis for building a friendship if one of you is holding on to the hope that the two of you could potentially be. Instead, focus on friends who make you feel happy, appreciated, and wanted just the way you are. 

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