5 Reasons Your Ex Is Hanging Out In Your Dreams

Dec 03, 2020
10:06 A.M.
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You went to bed hoping to get some rest but ended up with dreams of a past lover. What exactly does this even mean?


Going to sleep can open a portal to a whole other world where the unexpected is expected. Whether your breakup ended amicably, or it left you heartbroken all of a sudden, your ex is "back" through your minds’ portal and integrating themselves into your waking thoughts.

For one, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have unresolved feelings or that you want to spark the old flame. Dreaming about an ex is normal. Here are five possible reasons why your ex is popping into your dreams.

If You Dreamed That You Were Falling for Your First Love

Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash


In this case, your dream isn’t actually about your ex suggests professional dream analyst and author Lauri Quinn Loewenberg. You may be longing for the feeling of excitement that you associate with your first love. This dream may occur if your current relationship is feeling lackluster or you’re in the middle of a dry spell. Take the dream as a notice to maybe break the routine and reignite these feelings.

You’re Dreaming About A Recent Ex

Photo by Bruce Christianson on Unsplash

Photo by Bruce Christianson on Unsplash

If you find yourself dreaming about a recent ex, that may be because your brain is trying to deal with the break-up. It may be helpful to consider the nature of the break-up and what about it is your brain trying to move on from.


You’re Dreaming About Your Ex Apologizing Or Wanting You Back

Photo by Sam Rios on Unsplash

Photo by Sam Rios on Unsplash

That idea about when you dream about someone, they’re dreaming about you isn't exactly true. If you’re dreaming about your ex trying to resuscitate your dead relationship, that’s you exploring that possibility.

Dreams About Getting Along With Your Ex With Whom You Share Children

Photo by Larry Crayton on Unsplash

Photo by Larry Crayton on Unsplash


Because there’s still the child that connects the two of you, your dream could be trying to help you, co-parent. Some people report hating their ex but have recurring dreams about them and even having sex with them in the dream, though they swear they would not in reality. Your subconscious may want you to connect with this person on some level for your offspring’s sake.

You‘re Dreaming that You’re Back in A Toxic Relationship

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Loewenberg explains that having dreams about an ex who caused you misery may warrant an honest talking to yourself. Ask yourself if you’re still beating yourself up for saying in that relationship and you may consider seeing a therapist.

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